Joyfully Serving Our Husbands: A Biblical Perspective
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Hello and welcome back to Avelyn Lane: All Roads Lead Home! I’m so glad you’re here with me, I’m Jessica and today we are diving into a topic that is both foundational and—let’s be honest—a little challenging at times: serving our husbands as the Bible calls us to and allowing them the opportunity to lead our households.
Now, full disclosure: this is a challenge to myself as much as it is an encouragement to you. Because, let’s be real, this isn’t always easy. In fact, there are days when I would rather lead the charge, map out the battle plan, and maybe even wear the general’s hat while I’m at it. But as I study scripture and pray over my role as a wife, I see that God has a beautiful, intentional design for marriage. And I want to lean into that more this year.
So, whether you’re newly married, have been on this journey for years, or just need a little reminder that you're not alone in figuring all this out—welcome. Grab a cup of coffee (or tea, or whatever keeps you sane these days), and let’s dive in.
Segment 1: Setting the Foundation: God’s Design for Marriage
To understand how we serve our husbands, we have to go back to the blueprint—the original plan God laid out. And thankfully, we don’t have to guess what that looks like. Ephesians 5:22-24 spells it out:
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands."
Okay, before anyone panics—let’s talk about what this actually means. This passage isn’t about blind obedience or about a wife’s value being any less than her husband’s. That’s not God’s heart at all. Instead, it’s a call to reflect the beautiful relationship between Christ and the Church. When we willingly submit and allow our husbands to lead, we mirror the trust and unity God desires for His people.
And let’s be honest—sometimes we want our husbands to lead... until they actually try, and then suddenly we have a hundred better ideas. (Just me? Okay.) But God calls us to respect our husband’s role, and that leads us into our next point.
Segment 2: What Does It Mean to Serve?
Let’s clear up one major misconception: serving our husbands doesn’t mean becoming a doormat. No ma’am. Serving is an act of love, respect, and partnership. So what does this actually look like?
Respect His Leadership – Ephesians 5:33 says, "However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." Respecting our husbands doesn’t mean we always agree, but it does mean we honor their role and trust their hearts—even when they decide we need to rearrange the entire living room for "better flow." (Spoiler alert: it’s the exact same arrangement as before.)
Encourage Him – Proverbs 31:26 reminds us, "She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue." Speak life into your husband. Build him up. Support his dreams. (Unless those dreams involve buying a race car and going pro at age 40—we might need to redirect that one.)
Pray for Him – James 5:16 says, "The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." Praying for your husband is one of the most powerful ways to serve him. And let him know you’re praying for him—it’ll mean more than you think.
Meet His Needs – 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 talks about the importance of meeting each other’s physical and emotional needs. This might look like cooking his favorite meal, creating a peaceful home environment, or making time to reconnect when life gets busy.
Segment 3: Allowing Him to Lead
Now, this is the part that can feel tricky. Allowing our husbands to lead does NOT mean we don’t have a voice. Marriage is a partnership. Proverbs 31 paints a picture of a godly wife who is strong, capable, and wise. But at the end of the day, leadership in the home ultimately falls to our husbands.
So how do we encourage their leadership?
Step Back – Resist the urge to micromanage. (I say this while holding onto my color-coded family schedule for dear life.) Trust that God is working in your husband’s heart and guiding him.
Seek His Input – Include him in decisions about the family, finances, and future. Show him that his opinions matter.
Support His Vision – Work together to set goals for your family and encourage the dreams and responsibilities God has placed on his heart.
Segment 4: Handling Conflict with Grace
Let’s be honest, marriage isn’t all sunshine and roses. There will be disagreements, misunderstandings, and moments when we just don’t see eye to eye. The key is handling conflict with grace.
Pause Before Reacting – Proverbs 15:1 says, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." When things get heated, take a step back, breathe, and ask God for wisdom before responding.
Communicate Openly – Marriage thrives on honest, loving communication. Instead of bottling up frustrations, express your thoughts kindly and clearly.
Forgive Quickly – Colossians 3:13 tells us to "bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone." Holding onto resentment only hurts your marriage. Let’s be quick to extend grace and move forward together.
Segment 5: Finding Joy in the Journey
Marriage is a gift, and while it comes with challenges, it also brings immense joy. Sometimes we get so caught up in responsibilities that we forget to have fun together.
Laugh Often – Proverbs 17:22 says, "A cheerful heart is good medicine." Find joy in the little moments, whether it’s an inside joke, a funny mishap, or just enjoying each other’s company.
Date Your Husband – Just because you’re married doesn’t mean dating should stop! Plan intentional time together to keep the spark alive.
Celebrate the Wins – Whether big or small, acknowledge the victories in your marriage. Did he fix the leaky faucet? Cheer him on. Did you survive a busy week without losing your mind? High-five each other.
Closing Thoughts
Whew! This is a big topic, and I know it’s not always easy to put into practice. But when we follow God’s design for marriage, we reflect His love and bring glory to His name. Serving our husbands and allowing them to lead is a journey—one that requires patience, grace, and lots of prayer.
So let’s strive to be wives who serve joyfully, respect fully, and love unconditionally. And when we mess up (because we will mess up), let’s keep coming back to God’s grace. He’s the one who equips us, sustains us, and transforms our marriages for His glory.
Closing Prayer:
Let’s close in prayer:
Lord, thank You for the gift of marriage and the unique roles You have given us as husbands and wives. Help us to serve our husbands with joy, even on days when they leave their socks on the floor—again. Give us patience when they take the scenic route instead of following the GPS, and grace when we realize they were actually right (just this once).
Teach us to respect them, to encourage them, and to trust You as the ultimate leader of our homes. May we remember that submission is not about losing our voice but about honoring the design You have so lovingly created. Strengthen our marriages, fill our homes with laughter, and help us to love one another in a way that reflects Your goodness and grace. And Lord, if it’s not too much to ask, could You also remind our husbands that the hamper does, in fact, exist?
Amen.
Thank you for spending this time with me today! If this conversation encouraged you, I’d love for you to share it with a friend. And if you have thoughts, stories, or funny "submission gone wrong" moments, send them my way—I’d love to hear from you! And if you have some advice for us I’d love to know how you serve your husband in your marriage? What are some challenges you’ve faced, and how has God worked through them? Share your story with me on Instagram @avelynlane
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